Pop Culture!!!!

It’s time to take a break from the serious stuff and get back to what I love: pop culture! As if there was anything else?! My life revolves around it. My latest cause is the one I read about in Cosmo magazine. My favourite song is the one that all the radio stations are playing. My quote of the day is taken from the latest episode of Family Guy (Seth MacFarlane=genius!) Let’s face it, I’m a popaholic and proud of it! I was showing a good friend of mine this blog the other day and she was baffled. Her exact words were “So this is what you want to do with your life? Don’t you want to help people?” I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, I have to admit she did throw me for a loop.

After much consideration I realized that I am an entertainer. I “help” people by giving them a distraction from their day to day stresses and hopefully make them laugh. Life shouldn’t always have to be so serious. So I won’t win any awards for being a good Samaritan, no sweat off my back! C’mon now, I graduated with a degree in communications, not social work! What good deeds have Brad and Angelina done other than indulging our penchants for eye candy? According to Roseanne, not a whole lot! G-d bless you for your cynicism Roseanne!

Perhaps it’s the Benadryl affecting my better judgements, but I believe that pop culture and celebrity gossip are serious matters! Could you imagine a presidential campaign without getting to dish about the latest candidate’s affairs!? John Edward’s love child for goodness sakes, it will be on people’s tongues long after clean-cut Oblama wins! (No, that wasn’t a typo, I meant Oblama!)

Speaking of Oblama, he received some attention for his “friendly emails” with Scarlett Johansson, what was that about? Hmm, I wonder how “friendly” those emails were.

All I know is that I like my news breezy and quick to digest, and I don’t see the problem with that! It’s not like I am going to be the head speaker at a MENSA conference. However, if the Learning Annex is short a guest speaker (Donald Trump had other engagements). I will be the first in line!

My mother said that if I wanted people to take this blog seriously, that I should get more in-depth in my articles. I guess I was taking the wrong approach by assuming that people stopped caring by the third paragraph. If there is a growing demand for longer articles that’s fine by me. Honest to blog, I can write forever.....

That’s a damn lie and you know it! My attention span peaked about fifteen minutes ago and I can’t remember what this article is even about. Man I love our uniquely North American shallow and vapid ideals! Nowhere else could I get away with writing about nothing! For no reason at all, I am going to end this article with the video for “What Is Love?” by one-hit wonder Haddaway, enjoy!

*Images courtesy of askmen.com, people.com, nydailynews.com, fox.com

Life-Rehab

I have been unsuccessfully trying to define “life-rehab” and perhaps the reason for this is simply due to the fact that I have no idea what or how to achieve it. I’m starting to believe that life-rehab is merely just a form of writer’s block and causes feelings of nostalgia and hopelessness.

When honesty is met with cynicism then why not lie? If apologies are not followed up with forgiveness then why bother to say sorry at all? If calorie counting is not rewarded with weight loss then why not eat a Krispy Kreme? Why should I be so good if everyone thinks that I’m bad?

Maybe I am biting off more than I can chew, maybe rehabbing doesn’t just happen overnight. The problem is, and I’ve said it before, I’m terribly impatient. I want to see results now. I want to feel differently about my life. I want to see things with new eyes. I could get an eye transplant, but who are we kidding? Old habits die hard, right?

Ah, detox. You are a real shrewd mistress. While I have accepted that there is a higher power, apologized to those who have been hurt by my old ways, and even accepted and admitted to my own mistakes (just as the twelve steps have advised), I am feeling something that isn’t on the list; Grief.

Many people think that grieving is restricted to death, but I want to dispel that notion. Grieving is a natural and healthy reaction to change (whether the change is positive or not). It involves asking tough questions, such as, “Why is this happening?”, or “Can I handle this?” It can also include sporadic bursts of emotion, late night phone calls to friends and family, and maybe even some trips down memory lane. The process of grieving serves to chip away at a fragile layer and to rebuild that layer with a tougher skin (so to speak). When you are finally able to answer those tough questions without self-pitying, and you feel a renewed sense of energy, you have achieved closure and can move ahead to the next stage of life.

Then it hits me. I have at last, reached the final, twelfth step: spiritual awakening. My eyes are seeing things clearly for once and I know now what I must do. I must put away those demons and make room for love and self-acceptance in my life.

Even if honesty is met with cynicism, don’t lie because it becomes a destructive web that will weigh heavily on your heart. Say sorry because you are sorry and not because you expect anything in return. Don’t eat the Krispy Kreme, period. C’mon, if you are going to waste calories, at least do it on something that will fill you up like a piece of fudge cake! If anyone thinks I’m being bad when I’m actually being good then I will just laugh at how I have fooled them all! Now how’s that for life-rehab?!

*Images courtesy of leannemansfield.co.uk, ideiasemdesalinho.blogs.sapo.pt, mercy.georgian.edu

Preview: Large But Not In Charge

What do Kirstie Alley, McSteamy, Keanu Reeves and Martin Henderson have in common? Check out my article: Large But Not In Charge to find out! To access this article just go to the missmakeamovie blog site at : http://missmakeamovie.blogspot.com/

Don't Be That Girl

Feminism has evolved and taken on many different meanings throughout its inception. There were the suffragettes in the early 20th century fighting for their voices to be heard and their opinions to be validated via the right to vote. Around that same time women were proving to be an invaluable asset to the workforce. They were filling in and in some cases overtaking the positions of their male counterparts fighting in the first world war. Several decades later there were the Gloria Steinem inspired bra burners in the sixties. These women lobbied against the treatment of women as merely sex objects for men to fantasize and drool over. They wished to be respected for their minds and not cup sizes. Presently, feminists are now able to be stay at home mothers if they so choose and without ridicule. They have even promoted and taken the “oppressive” label off of the hobby of, gasp, knitting/needlepoint! It is all about choice, and women are now afforded it. Amen to that!

Now that you all have had a brief history lesson on feminism, and are all the better for it, I will inform you that this article is not really about feminism. Well actually it is, but not in the way you might be thinking. I am not here to bash men, or women for that matter. All I aim to do right now, is to shed some light on an issue that is often joked about but never seriously explained.

Women as aggressors in romance. The game of love is no longer about waiting for prince charming to come riding in on his white horse and whisk his intended away into the sunset. Women are getting sick of waiting and are rightfully so picking up the phone and becoming masters of their own destinies. This is a huge step in the name of equality. However, as this is still a budding trend, there needs to be a code of etiquette put in place.

Just as guys have the “bro code” (thanks Barney Stinson!) girls also need to pledge allegiance to their friends and leave the crushes and exes alone. I speak from personal experience. In the past I crossed the line and dated a best friend’s crush. It left our friendship irreparably damaged and I was forced to hang my head in shame for years with nothing but futile apologies to try to erase the pain I caused her. I will always regret what I did, especially when I’m forced to face the fact that I will never get that trust or her friendship back. Above all else though, I just really miss her. The remnants of our friendship now consist of short birthday emails that lack substance or sincerity. Needless to say, the guy wasn’t even worth it. So ladies/feminists of 2008 take note, the thrill of the off-limits boy is no match for the bond of a best friend.

Another important thing to keep in mind is how your man feels about being the pursued. If he is a rather aggressive, manly man, he may not be the most comfortable letting you take the lead. Infact, he may resist your advances and cause you to feel dejected. Don’t fret though, just as this is new to you, it is new to him to so it may take some extra patience. If you really care about this guy and want to make it work, try giving him some space to pursue you. Hopefully that will lend itself to eventual shared pursuer/pursued roles. While this may not work in every situation, consider how you would feel if the roles were reversed, would you feel valued? Flattered? Overwhelmed? If you answered no to the first two, or yes to the last question, it may be high time for you to revise your approach. It should also be made clear that overdoing it is never the answer. Just like that annoying guy you had to put call block on because he wouldn’t get the message, you too, should not stalk to get your way. It will only serve to drive him further away and to thwart your progress.

The best aggressors don’t let their prey know when they’re about to pounce. Be cunning, think quick on your feet and most of all, be true to yourself. If you feel he is not responding, move on. It is all about affirming your femininity and your ascending position in the world while having fun. If you are lying in wait for the non-committal guy, then you are no better off than those waiting for the prince on the horse. So put down those knitting needles ladies and get back out there because The Weather Girls are forecasting something very special. They say it’s a rainfall of massive proportions. For the first time in history, it’s gonna start raining men! It’s raining men?! Hallelujah!

*This article was inspired by Dr. Travis Stork's (of Bachelor fame) book Don't Be That Girl, a truly funny and helpful book on how to stop making dating blunders and regain confidence.

**Dedicated to Lily

***P.S. Happy Birthday Mom, Love You!!!

*Images courtesy of moviemaker.com, barnesandnoble.com, fijilive.com, http://hdmoline.blogspot.com/, thecurvature.com, swingfromthevine.com

Labels or Love

At work today, the song “Labels or Love” by Fergie came on and it got me thinking. She sings about how a woman doesn’t need a man to be happy, she just needs a credit card with a high limit so as to buy extravagant gifts for herself. As I sit here, regurgitating the events of last nights date and how said date hasn’t yet contacted me (big surprise), I consider Fergie’s theory. Would a Christian Dior handbag make me feel real good right about now? My answer, YES!!! Have you seen the new Dior handbags modelled by Italian goddess Monica Bellucci? They are weepingly beautiful, so much so that I would feel warm and safe at night with it huddled next to me on my pillow.

Who needs a man when you can have the best handbag that money can buy? The black patent leather finish with the embossed golden Dior logo, sigh, a girl could stare longingly at its beauty all day.

Just like dating a hot studmuffin of a guy, you couldn’t go out looking less than perfect when sporting this arm accessory. A bag of this splendour deserves to be carried around by a magnificently quaffed, French manicured, bombshell of a broad who walks around with all the confidence in the world. No sweats and curlers here!! Don’t even think about getting comfortable and ordering dessert with your new boyfriend Dior! (Not that there would be any money left for it anyways with all this luxuriating!) Better hit the gym and try to lose those last few pounds, wouldn’t want your new man getting all the attention (and it’s a great way to show off).

Geez, this all sounds like a lot of work, I should have thought twice about my answer. Dior is sounding like quite the high maintenance boyfriend, perhaps Coach would have been a better choice, he would allow Lululemons!

At the end of the day though, labels really do outlast lust. Sure, the credit card bill will cause some tears and so will the debt collectors, but girls a handbag is forever! As it ages it only gets better! No sagging here, just perfectly stained leather, what a wonderful world we live in. A gorgeous handbag never takes you out to dinner expecting anything in return (just maybe paying some lip service here and there). Handbags don’t come with ulterior motives, cheesy or offensive pick up lines, grubby paws, or rude in-laws.

That’s it ladies, to meet your soulmate, just grab your AMEX and head to Holt’s, I hear there’s a sale on Burberry and Prada......just kidding. (What were you thinking? Soulmates don’t come cheap, you have to pay top dollar if you want to avoid the emotional baggage!)

*Images courtesy of dior.com, theretailalley.blogspot.com, pursepage.com, sympatico/msn, coach.com

Intervention Time!!!

My best friend used to date a guy who would have a countdown for everything; He would count down the days ‘til weekends, holidays, for his favourite shows, when he could see her, etc. We would secretly make fun of him for this ridiculous habit and wonder why he didn’t do something more constructive with his free time. Needless to say that wasn’t the romance for the ages and she broke up with him rather quickly, but his legacy remained etched in our minds.

Fast forward to a few years later and there I was, stuck in a permanent countdown. I was counting down to everything. Counting down to graduation, for my then boyfriend to propose, for a great job, and for the final step into adulthood. Graduation came and went much too quickly, my then boyfriend cheated and subsequently proposed to the one after me within a matter of months, I got a lacklustre job in retail working horrible hours and I felt more dependent on my family than ever before.

This would continue on for another year until it hit me. I would be 24 very soon and no better off than I was a year before. I was still counting down to nothing and wasn’t trying to better myself. After several (hundreds) of long life lectures from my family and friends, I decided to stop counting and start “living”. I quit my hundredth crummy retail job (overworked and underpaid), I fixed up my resume, and I here I am, writing my own blog in the hopes that people will read my words and feel inspired themselves.

This “living” thing isn’t easy. It forces you to do things you would otherwise try to hide from when you’re safe in your countdowns. Like not trying to get my G2 again because of a bad experience with the “Dragon Lady” a couple of years prior, or making amends with the cousin I’ve ignored for years due to some hurtful things said in the past in a bout of anger. Sometimes, you have to bite your tongue, swallow your rather huge Leo pride and just go for the jugular.

Life countdowns are cop-outs where you simply just set limitations on yourself and your abilities. Like the age old excuses of the addicts who will quit tomorrow, or the victims of abusive relationships who give numerous chances to their partners, at some point you have to stop lying to yourself and put an end to the hemming and hawing.

So here it is, my first step towards my self-titled “life rehab”.

Stay tuned as the journey has only just begun and wacky results are sure to follow!

Disclaimer: The links to certain "crummy" jobs that I have had in the past is for pure comical purposes and is not meant to dismay others from joining these fine companies.

*Images courtesy of Facebook, Google, thestarceleb.com, schmen.com